November 7, 2008
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THERE IS HOPE FOR CHANGE...
SY ROGERS
The first half of my life was an emotional concentration camp: My alcoholic mother was killed in a car wreck when I was four. Prior to that, I was sexually molested by a family "friend". After my mum's death, I was separated from my father for a year. I lived in an emotional vacuum. My identity and security as a male was left unaffirmed and unnourished. Later in school, I was routinely ridiculed, rejected and physically abused due to my effeminate mannerisms. Even though I tried to "conform to the norm", I was continually labeled a homosexual and a failure as a man. It's no wonder I had problems. As a teenager, I had not yet identified myself as homosexual. Yet, I was certainly aware of my attractions to the same sex and I felt fear and shame. A few years later, when eventually involving myself in the gay scene, I felt such a sense of relief. I felt accepted and understood. At last, I had a place to belong. It was great for a while. Soon I was living in the fast lane, and always surrounding myself with others who would reaffirm and reinforce the gay life. When living in Hawaii, my two gay room-mates became husband and husband in that State's first non-official gay-male wedding in a pro-gay church. I was their "Best Man". Yet later, they would become the first to tell me that overcoming homosexuality was possible -- they had begun the effort themselves. They said God was helping them, and that they were praying for me. I laughed in contempt, thinking they were some kind of traitors.
My own journey out of the gay life first began with my attempt at securing male love by becoming a woman through a sex change. Though I did not get around to ever having the surgery, I was on hormone therapy and lived as a woman for about a year and a half. Yet, even then I realized that surgery couldn't really solve my problems and wouldn't secure love for me. Realizing that I hadn't managed my life very well on my own, I finally began sincerely seeking after God. It was my re-ignited faith in God that led me down a new path I once thought impossible for me. It wasn't that I was trying to stop being gay. I didn't know "how" -- or if it was possible. I was however, willing to stop living my life on my tents. Instead, I yielded to God on His terms. That was in January 1980.
At the time, my gay friends thought I was crazy. They said I'd be back in the bars in a week -- a month -- a year. I never went back. But it wasn't easy. I did have a lot of struggles in the beginning, but like most worthwhile efforts, perseverance paid off. Today I very much enjoy the opportunity to live beyond my past problems. I enjoy being a husband since l982, and a father. It isn't proof that I'm not gay, but it is evidence ofa life I never thought possible. My recovery process took time and work and the encouragement and accountability of my supportive friends. More importantly, my recovery depended on my willingness to co-operate with God. Over the years and around the globe, everyone that I personally know -- or know of -- that has overcome homosexuality has been enabled to do so as a direct consequence of a life yielded to God and committed to the way of Christ. Though I'll never live my life as if I had never been homosexual, I am able to live beyond having been homosexual. And I'm not unique. There are many thousands of ex-homosexuals, though most are not public about it. I've met many here in Singapore, and in Asia ... in fact, around the world!
Sy Rogers' dramatic story of overco ming homosexuality has been shared on 6 continents and in numerous publications and media interviews. He has hosted award-winning TV and Radio programs in the U.S., specifically dealing with recovery from sexually-related problems.
Sy has served as President of Exodus International, North America, part of the world-wide network of Christian agencies with outreach to the sexually broken. Sy has also been selected as one of the Outstanding Young Men of America, as well as Who's Who in Human Services Professionals.
Sy has served on the pastoral staff with Church of Our Saviour, Singapore.
He and his wife Karen have been married since 1982. They have one daughter.
More information about Sy Rogers is available at http://www.syrogers.com/
read more at: http://www.exodusglobalalliance.org/commonquestionsabouthomosexualityp39.php
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